For the most part, the Changchun Friends website is not very active and has been superseded by the Tencent "Wechat" app by the local expat community. This website is maintained sporadically, people may still join and membership is still open, but if you are a spammer, stay away. The archived information here is still useful, but some may be out of date. There are plans to make it more useful for static information in the future. If anyone needs information about Changchun or China, you may post a message and it probably will get a response but not immediately.

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The Yoke's On You

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The Yoke's On You

Jokes only, must be funny or at least original or else we pelt you with eggs. Try to keep them cleanish and not too scandalous

Location: Funny Bone, China
Members: 9
Latest Activity: May 4, 2012

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Comment by Sal on September 30, 2011 at 13:58

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school.

 

Her grades were good — mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”

 

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: “Sally gets it from her mother. Please let me know if your idea works.”

Comment by Sal on September 30, 2011 at 13:54

An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.

 

The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

 

To which the gentleman replies, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”.

Comment by Richard Roman on September 20, 2011 at 16:48

(You can tell I am having a lazy afternoon!)

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

(Oh this is GOOD!!)?

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

 

Comment by Richard Roman on September 20, 2011 at 16:38

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "Earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "Tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She, too, escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "Fire!!

Comment by Richard ridealgh on September 1, 2011 at 9:57
Avi will love that!
Comment by Richard Roman on September 1, 2011 at 9:44

Subject: Ham vs Sex

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane..... After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"


Comment by Sal on August 14, 2011 at 20:59

She Finally Meets a Sensitive Guy

 

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a bottom shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

 

She turns to him . . . they kiss . . . and then they rip each other's clothes off. After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy looks into her eyse and says, "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

Comment by Sal on August 12, 2011 at 11:06
  • What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

 

 

  • If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment

 

 

 

sorry

Comment by Richard ridealgh on August 4, 2011 at 11:51

With the Chinese Valentines day round the corner I thought this would put everyone in the mood! it's called "3 Viagra please"

 

A guy goes to his doctor and says,
"Doc, I have a problem."

"My girlfriend is sleeping over this Friday, my ex-wife is sleeping over this Saturday and my wife is coming home Sunday."

"I need 3 Viagra pills to satisfy them all."

The doctor says, "You know 3 Viagra pills 3 nights in a row is pretty dangerous for any man. I will give them to you on the condition that you return to my office on Monday so that I can check you out."

The man says, "You have a deal Doc."

Monday morning the man returns with his arm in a sling.

The doctor asks, "What happened"?

The man answered, "Nobody showed up!"

Comment by The Choonies on August 2, 2011 at 13:40

I just stood beside a Chinese lad in a lift and read his t-shirt, it said

"If you do it well then you do it not at all."

If I was somewhere else I might think they tried to get it wrong but ....

 

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